20 April 2013

Enough is Enough. When she says no, YOU STOP.


I don't feel safe.

I am

I am hurt.

I am broken.

Recently, in December, a twenty three year old girl was on her way back home after watching a movie with her friend. She was a paramedical student and had a bright future ahead of her. It was 9pm. She along with her male friend couldn't find a taxi , an auto-rickshaw or anything. So when they saw a commercial bus , they thought why not climb this one and head home. The girl was with a guy so she had this sense of security with her. What happened to her shook the entire country. She was gang-raped by six men. Not only was she raped but she was brutally beaten and so was her friend and they were thrown out of a moving bus and were left to die on the streets. The brutality of this whole incident scared every girl, every woman , every parent, every husband in my country and ....in the end , everybody.

This could've been anybody. It could've been me. It could've been my sister. My best friend. My mother. My aunt. ANYBODY.

I am scared.

It's April now. Things had just simmered down.

Until now.

A five year old girl was raped by her own neighbour. And it shames me to say this but I'm angry, so be it. It shames me to say that when this girl needed help, she was locked up into a goddamn cell by none other than a police officer.

What should I do now?

In need of help, the only place I'd go would be the police station, SO what do I do ?

I'm writing this because I am scared and angry and horrified.

I don't understand WHY it is difficult for men to keep their dicks in their pants. Why is it so hard for anybody in general to understand that THIS is not right. Why are rapists given a chance to defend themselves? WHY? Till December, this was something that happened outside. But this is the neighbour that we're talking about. Where is my sense of security? Why shouldn't I be scared of travelling alone? and this was a FIVE YEAR OLD girl. A kid. Does she need self defense classes too now?

Psychologists say, that rapists are victims themselves as this savage side of them is triggered by their upbringing and environment. While that is true, does that give the right to anybody in general to rape a person? When I would have a kid of myself, should I remember to enroll my daughter or son in self defense classes? Should I?

I'll tell you what's happening now.

My mother is scared to send her daughter out. You would think that if I was accompanied by my father, then I would remain safe. But no. So here's the thing.

Should I wear clothes that cover each part of my body? Should I not drink? Should I not flirt? Because hey, if I flirt I'm inviting a guy to bed.

You know what's more funny? Nowadays we are advised that we should AVOID provoking people.

When I was a fifteen. I was travelling in a bus and a guy kept on bumping into me from behind. It was quite obvious. He was a pervert and he was touching me. When I couldn't stand it , I just turned around and whacked that asshat. And I was safe.

You know what happened to a girl in another country who was braver than me? And who dared to stand up? She was followed and tortured and raped.

I was

Did I deserve it? What if that guy was a rogue thug and what if I TRIGGERED his inner savage. Would I be alive today?

I'm not saying that we girls shouldn't be careful as well. We need to take care of ourselves and each other. We need to understand that not everybody is in their right mind. And not everybody is going to help you.

But does it still gives the right to THEM for doing what they do?

I don't think so.

Enough is enough. 


Why should I be scared? Why should my parents be scared? Why should I have my father and brother accompany me anywhere? Why should I have to look around several times to see a guy leering at me and pinching my ass. WHY SHOULD I NOT PROVOKE THEM AND STAND UP?  Why should I be afraid?

Who should I blame? If not the rapists then their parents? IF nor their parents than THEIR parents? Is it the society in general or is it your thick skull?

If a girl says no. You listen to them.

If somebody tells you that you're wrong and if that somebody is right, then you listen.

If a girl wears tiny clothes, you don't rape her but you protect her.

If anybody drinks, you take care of them.

If anybody needs help, you better help them.



  1. Great post, Devyani.
    I still remember watching the news and hearing about those two poor people. And I'm sad about that little girl too. A similar thing happened over here 2 or 3 years ago.

    There are some nasty people living on this planet. And the authorities aren't any better. There's a small prison in city I went to college and they let out criminals out to buy newspapers, to get coffee or something else, daily. What's to stop them from running away or even doing something illegal? Nothing. My high school teacher was having an affair with one of his students so he was locked away there too. At times I would see him crossing the street. He was always a dirty old fart. Married one of his students and now has a 23 year-old son. He was flirting with girls in my class and he even said some inappropriate things to me.

    I really don't know what to say. What can be done? We don't know who's a crazy demented psycho out to hurt us. Shitty things happen to good and bad people.

  2. That's terrible. :/ I'm really sorry about that.

    Have you seen this video by Laci Green? She's right, we live within a rape culture. It's the attitude of society that needs to be changed!


  3. I've got goose-bumps while reading your post. I also remember seen and reading about that girl on the news. I was so shocked. Unfortunately similar things started happening here too. Once upon a time that was something that happened on the west not here.
    When I was younger we knew that we should take care of each other but we were never scared. Now I'm afraid for kids today and what will happen in the next few years!?
    I have no idea how to stop it but no one should be afraid to walk down the road alone.

  4. Recently, a girl was killed not to far away from my house. Hell, I sometimes walk back from school through that street. The boy just threw her out of his house and she lay dead on his porch.. Horrible things happen and it makes me sad :(


  5. Zemira, Tanja and Mel ,I wish I had the power to just do something! But don't we all wish that? We laud our society to be well read and literate and these are the things we get to see. That poor girl left fought hard and I can't even imagine what she would've been through. And you know what hurts more? Even after so much, it still hasn't made a difference.

    Petra, thank you. :)
    I just saw the video. Whatever that girl said was right in each and every way. I had heard about what happened in Steuebenville, but I had no idea how huge the whole matter was. There is this site, Mystrength.org or something and they have this one primary slogan that 'Men Can Stop Rape.'
    I have hope. But who knows? I guess we'll have to just wait and see.