01 December 2014

The Program by Suzanne Young

The Program by Suzanne Young
Publisher:  Simon Pulse      
Publication date: April 30th 2013
My rating: 4 stars

In Sloane’s world, true feelings are forbidden, teen suicide is an epidemic, and the only solution is The Program.
Sloane knows better than to cry in front of anyone. With suicide now an international epidemic, one outburst could land her in The Program, the only proven course of treatment. Sloane’s parents have already lost one child; Sloane knows they’ll do anything to keep her alive. She also knows that everyone who’s been through The Program returns as a blank slate. Because their depression is gone—but so are their memories.
Under constant surveillance at home and at school, Sloane puts on a brave face and keeps her feelings buried as deep as she can. The only person Sloane can be herself with is James. He’s promised to keep them both safe and out of treatment, and Sloane knows their love is strong enough to withstand anything. But despite the promises they made to each other, it’s getting harder to hide the truth. They are both growing weaker. Depression is setting in. And The Program is coming for them.

Last night I was browsing Goodreads, looking for something interesting to read and The Program caught my eye. Sure, I've heard of it before but I wasn't so sure if it would be something I usually enjoy. Since I'm a risk taker I decided to read it the next morning. I didn't expected to be so engrossed in Sloane's world. 

Sloane's surrounded by fear every day of her life since her older brother killed himself. Every third teen is suicidal so the government developed The Program which helps teens 'forget' about their problems. One of Sloane's friends, Lacey, is one of those rehabilitated teens. Lacey's boyfriend, devastated when Lacey doesn't recognize his kills himself, leaving Sloane and her boyfriend James to fend for themselves. They can't trust their parents because they fear they would  end up brainwashed like Lacey so they only trust each other. After not being able to endure the pain any longer, James starts cutting himself which only results in him being sent to The Program. When he gets back, he doesn't remember Sloane and her depression only grows stronger. Her parents send her to the rehabilitation and we get to witness how the process actually works. 

A lot of other reviewers mentioned Sloan not being a strong character but I disagree. She was doing her best. Take note she didn't had the chance to grieve over the death of her brother, she also lost all of her friends and her boyfriend. She had no idea who is trustworthy inside the facility. She did fight to keep her memories from being erased and that was all she could've done. 

James was charming and fun despite living in such a dreary world. He was there for Sloane, even after the treatment, when they didn't know each other. 

Realm was also interesting in his own way. He develops connection with Sloan while she's being brainwashed. He's the only person who didn't mind having a fresh start so that even made me want to want to more about his past. Hopefully, more will be revealed about him in the sequel. 

That epilogue shocked me. Didn't see the twist coming. The repetition of the scene was well done. I still can't believe it happened. 

Despite the lack of action which I usually crave, I couldn't put this book down. It's not hard to picture something like this happening in the not so distant future, which made it even scarier. Even now, so many people medicate themselves to dull the physical and mental ache. It was smart of the author to tackle this issue. 


20 November 2014

Dangerous Boys by Abigail Haas

Dangerous Boys by Abigail Haas
Release Date: August 14th, 2014
Publisher: Simon and Schuster UK
My Ratings: 5 out of 5 stars!

Three teens venture into the abandoned Monroe estate one night; hours later, only two emerge from the burning wreckage. Chloe drags one Reznick brother to safety, unconscious and bleeding; the other is left to burn, dead in the fire. But which brother survives? And is his death a tragic accident? Desperate self-defense? Or murder?

Chloe is the only one with the answers. As the fire rages, and police and parents demand the truth, she struggles to piece together the story of how they got there-a story of jealousy, twisted passion, and the darkness that lurks behind even the most beautiful of faces…

I was doing my usual surfing on the net when I came across a fantastical theory on a forum for people who are pretentious and intelligent and absolutely awesome. This is how the theory went:

What if the world we're living in is actually a dream and what if, the time you consume 'drugs' is the time when you actually see the reality? 
How do you know the difference between what's normal and what's not and what if we're all part of a giant master plan and yadda yadda yadda...

When I came across this particular theory, even if it may seem a little diabolical (maybe), I was floored. As I thought more about it, I had honest to god goosebumps all over my arms. How much do we ever really know? As put aptly by a character in the novel,

“Don’t you know? There’s no such thing as the truth.’‘We all walk around trapped in our own subjective consciousness, experiencing the same events through a totally different lens.”

Quiet and a series of shiver attacks up my spine and to the whole of my body.
THIS is what I felt when I finished reading the book.
I was floored and I was certifiably, without any doubt, spooked.
Twisted characters, twisted plot, twisted end. Oh mama, I knew I was signing up for the highway to mindfuck.
Abigail Haas with her amazing flair for piecing together the good, bad and worse has put together a story I know I can't ever begin to put into words, let alone talk about. I'm surprised at the complexity in her story telling.
I've been spooked by ghosts, spirits, uncertain futures and pasts, unreliable characters and just about everything. But what manages to spook me the most is the twisted side of the human mind. It actually makes me wonder...can this be possible too? And if yes, then I'm glad that it's limited to the pages that I hold between my hands.

See, I'm already on my way.
Bye world, it was nice knowing you. Also, read this book. It's awesome.

16 November 2014

Puddle Jumping by Amber L. Johnson

Puddle Jumping by Amber L. Johnson
Release date: June 29th 2014
Publisher: Self Pub
Ratings: 5 stars out of 5.

synopsis:When it comes to love there’s no such thing as conventional. 

Everyone thinks Colton Neely is special. 

Lilly Evans just thinks he’s fascinating. 

Once friends when they were younger, their bond is cut short due to her accident prone nature and they go their separate ways. Years later, they meet again and Lilly learns that there is something special about the boy she once knew, but she has no idea what it all means. And she’s not sure if she’s ready to find out. 

When he walks through the corridor of her school the first day of her senior year, she knows that it’s time to get to know the real Colton Neely. The more she learns, the deeper she falls. 

Their friendship grows into love, even as Colton does not express it in words. But one decision threatens to break down the world that Lilly has tried so hard to integrate into and she must figure out if the relationship can survive if they are apart.

It feels like I haven't acquainted myself with a good book for a long long time now, so much so that when Puddle Jumping hightailed my bum from around the corner, so lost was I in its awesomeness that when it hurtled towards me like a formula one race car, I let it run me over. 
Honestly, it was the best feeling in the whole wide world and all my bruises and bleeding innards account for the profound impact that this ridiculously beautiful book had on me. 

Put in the most simplest sense, this really is just an extraordinary story about how a girl fell in love with a boy and how the boy fell love with the girl. It is an all-consuming, passionate and intense kind of a romance where your body aches ,bleeds and beats for the story to progress into an even more impacting finale because you know that its not just the protagonists but also the characters around them who deserve it. Cocooned in the midst of a beautiful romance are the virtues of understanding, need, support and want and more than anything, sensitivity.
It's the absolute best thing when a book manages to not only entertain you, but also educate you. 
I'm already familiar with the issues that surround Asperger's and Autism, but never have I thought of integrating myself with what I know and what is me as much as I have after reading THIS fantastic piece of literature. 

Moreover, in all its entirety, I feel like I've read something novel and original and in its essence also breathtaking.
Actually, on second thought, 'breathtaking' is kind of an understatement because honestly it stole my breath. Wrenched it away from me. Savage beast this book. 
So please, read this book. Not just because it deserves to be read but also because you deserve to read it.

06 November 2014

Mortal Gods by Kendare Blake

Mortal Gods by Kendare Blake
Release Date: October 14, 2014
Publisher: Tor Teen
My ratings: 2 out of 5 stars.

synopsis:Ares, God of War, is leading the other dying gods into battle. Which is just fine with Athena. She's ready to wage a war of her own, and she's never liked him anyway. If Athena is lucky, the winning gods will have their immortality restored. If not, at least she'll have killed the bloody lot of them, and she and Hermes can die in peace.

Cassandra Weaver is a weapon of fate. The girl who kills gods. But all she wants is for the god she loved and lost to return to life. If she can't have that, then the other gods will burn, starting with his murderer, Aphrodite.

The alliance between Cassandra and Athena is fragile. Cassandra suspects Athena lacks the will to truly kill her own family. And Athena fears that Cassandra's hate will get them ALL killed.

The war takes them across the globe, searching for lost gods, old enemies, and Achilles, the greatest warrior the world has ever seen. As the struggle escalates, Athena and Cassandra must find a way to work together. Because if they can't, fates far worse than death await.

I'm trying to remember why I liked Antigoddess.

Troy. Athena. Dying Gods. Blood and gore. Waiting for the finale with bated breath. 
More than anything else, war. The clash of the greatest and mightiest with a pinch of reincarnations that make you want to scream. 

The problem with this one started right from the very beginning and that beginning happened when they decided to change the name from 'Aristae' to something so plain, so simple. absolutely insignificant and boring(?) like 'Mortal Gods'.
Slowly and steadily, we're re-introduced to the original plot line which is basically that the Gods are dying and are now in a race to find the cure because they're all supposed to be immortal. Two camps have formed. One led by Hera and Aphrodite and other, led by Athena and Hermes. While one has no regard for human existence, the others in their own ignorant way do. Thrust in this mix is the background of the Trojan War and the reincarnations of pivotal characters from the Trojan War to aid the destiny and fate of these dying gods. 

First off, everything here was simply a mess.
Even Kendare's writing, which might I add has always been brilliant, couldn't salvage this terrible broth of disaster. I felt that some sections were unnecessary or at least required polishing. Some pieces felt 'damp'.
You know how you always anticipate adrenaline and heart palpitations when you're reading about supposed 'badass' confrontations? Yeah, damp.

But my greatest issue were the characters and how, my favourite characters were underplayed and destroyed right in front of my eyes.

I did have issues with the predecessor. Like for example, every time Cassandra, the other protagonist (Athena is the first.)spoke, I felt like finding a duct tape or needles to sew her mouth shut. The saving grace of the previous book? She was at least bearable.

Now, I feel like skinning her alive and watch with mad glee as she screams and squirms and finally, thankfully, dies.
That's how much of a nuisance her character was.
As for Athena?
Goddess. You're a goddess. For once, forget you're restraint and just kill her already. You'd be doing a great service to this universe and yourself. 

And what of Hermes? Underplayed. Really, underplayed. 

I don't even want to talk about the romance because whatever promise the first book showed me, all of it was quickly scrounged down and scraped off by this one. 
Severely disappointed with this one. I doubt I'll be reading the next one.

26 October 2014

With This Heart by R.S Grey

With This Heart
Author: R.S Grey
Releasing Date: April 6th, 2014
Publisher: Createspace
My ratings: 4 out of 5 stars.

If someone had told me a year ago that I was about to fall in love, go on an epic road trip, ride a Triceratops, sing on a bar, and lose my virginity, I would have assumed they were on drugs. 

Well, that is, until I met Beckham. 

Beck was mostly to blame for my recklessness. Gorgeous, clever, undeniably charming Beck barreled into my life as if it were his mission to make sure I never took living for granted. He showed me that there were no boundaries, rules were for the spineless, and a kiss was supposed to happen when I least expected. 

Beck was the plot twist that took me by surprise. Two months before I met him, death was knocking at my door. I'd all but given up my last scrap of hope when suddenly, I was given a second chance at life. This time around, I wasn't going to let it slip through my fingers. 

We set out on a road trip with nothing to lose and no guarantees of tomorrow. 

Our road trip was about young, reckless love. 

The kind of love that burns bright. 

The kind of love that no road-map could bring me back from. 

Road Trip, unbelievable but delicious boys, believable protagonists, crazy experiences, dreamy nights and drum rolls, you have a phenomenally surprising winner.

I've always wondered. Are books a haven of reality mixed with magic or are they magic mixed with a teaspoon of reality? I wonder because most of the times I find myself trying to identify with the protagonist and his or her experiences and on some days, with some books, I find that I can't. But that doesn't mean that my venture isn't fruitful. Maybe on most days, books balance both it's fictional and non-fictional elements in mysterious methods and when that balance goes in sync with my emotions and opinions, I find myself happy and satisfied.

It happened with this one.

There are so many things that are so hard for me to believe. Yet I found myself agreeing with it and just let it be. 
I was so taken with the journey that Abby Mae and Beckham found themselves on that I found myself needing to go on a roadtrip myself. But of course, a guy like Beck is never going to turn up out of thin air and ask me randomly, if he could go on a roadtrip with me. Reality and its woes. 

Or could it? Could it happen? 
Uncertainty and the unknown are such happy fuckers and I love them.

For me, With This Heart, is a very light-ish read in comparison to some heavy topics it's dealing with. It was fun,very romantic and happy. Although there were sad elements, they didn't affect me the way they should have, but yet again, I was okay with that too. I would have loved to eliminate the last chapter but then again, I guess I'm just nitpicking. Great protagonists, fun story which read like a journey and the reminder that really, you live only once.

22 October 2014

Dreams of Gods and Monsters by Laini Taylor

Dreams of Gods and Monsters
Author: Laini Taylor
Release date: April 8th, 2014
Publisher: Little, Brown and Company
My Ratings: 3.5 out of 5

synopsis:By way of a staggering deception, Karou has taken control of the chimaera rebellion and is intent on steering its course away from dead-end vengeance. The future rests on her, if there can even be a future for the chimaera in war-ravaged Eretz.

Common enemy, common cause.

When Jael's brutal seraph army trespasses into the human world, the unthinkable becomes essential, and Karou and Akiva must ally their enemy armies against the threat. It is a twisted version of their long-ago dream, and they begin to hope that it might forge a way forward for their people.

And, perhaps, for themselves. Toward a new way of living, and maybe even love.

But there are bigger threats than Jael in the offing. A vicious queen is hunting Akiva, and, in the skies of Eretz ... something is happening. Massive stains are spreading like bruises from horizon to horizon; the great winged stormhunters are gathering as if summoned, ceaselessly circling, and a deep sense of wrong pervades the world.

What power can bruise the sky?

From the streets of Rome to the caves of the Kirin and beyond, humans, chimaera and seraphim will fight, strive, love, and die in an epic theater that transcends good and evil, right and wrong, friend and enemy.

It started out with a tale of an art student with naturally grown and coloured blue hair ,a mysterious connection with a fiery eyed angel, handprints on a door and an inevitable, irreprehensible destiny. 

Who would've thought that would have escalated into this?

Laini,dear, what do you eat? 

Dreams of Gods and Monsters brought to you classic Laini Taylor and her fantastical works. 
War, blood, creation, destruction, resurrection, death, magic, fate, choice..oh glory! The list goes on.
Page after page, your emotions were played with, your dreams were shattered and remade and your frustration built. Word after word, you wondered. Would things ever be okay?
Every character was burdened by his or her personal dilemma. Dilemma there, dilemma here, dilemma everywhere and what did you do as you stood by, involved and enchanted by their misery, trials and tribulations?

YOU SCREAMED. Your hurt bled. You wanted the fucking dilemma to be over already. 

There are two things that you must derive from this.
One, this book was painfully good. Two, this book was painfully long.
Look, I get it. You can't just have a war and sunshine and few kisses and blah to seal the deal. I get your need to add another sub-plot associated with another sub-plot to make this book awesome and better than its predecessors.
But you forget, less is more. 

This book should've finished 100 pages before it actually did. 

The starting few chapters were slow but likable. Holding onto a ginormous hardcover, you as a reader, already know that this will be a long journey to cover. But as you go by and delve more, you start to realise how ridiculously unnecessary many aspects of the novel were and that's when you're painfully pissed off. You keep asking yourself again and again: 'how much more?'

I would've never expected this to happen with this book but that's maybe because my expectations were so high with this one and that end? 
God. No. Just no.
After a tedious yet enjoyable journey, you do not expect things to be so, how do I say, slimy?
I like how the book ends on a note of uncertainty. I love how you don't know what the future holds for these few characters that you have come to love other than the fact that right now, in this moment, they're exactly where they need to be. Buuut, no.

But here's what so magical about this one. Even after its torpid pace and unwanted hundred chapters, the very last page, the finale, left me happy and satisfied. It left me nestling the hardcover near my chest and I felt my heart breaking once more, like it always does, when great things, like they always do, come to an end.
So what if I and the novel don't agree with each other?

As romances go, we're indisputably and inexplicably in love and it feels pretty damn awesome.

15 October 2014

The Young Elites by Marie Lu

Book: The Young Elites
Author: Marie Lu
Release Date: 7th october,2014
Publisher: Penguin
My ratings: 4 out of 5.


"I am tired of being used, hurt, and cast aside."

Adelina Amouteru is a survivor of the blood fever. A decade ago, the deadly illness swept through her nation. Most of the infected perished, while many of the children who survived were left with strange markings. Adelina’s black hair turned silver, her lashes went pale, and now she has only a jagged scar where her left eye once was. Her cruel father believes she is a malfetto, an abomination, ruining their family’s good name and standing in the way of their fortune. But some of the fever’s survivors are rumored to possess more than just scars—they are believed to have mysterious and powerful gifts, and though their identities remain secret, they have come to be called the Young Elites.

Teren Santoro works for the king. As Leader of the Inquisition Axis, it is his job to seek out the Young Elites, to destroy them before they destroy the nation. He believes the Young Elites to be dangerous and vengeful, but it’s Teren who may possess the darkest secret of all. 

Enzo Valenciano is a member of the Dagger Society. This secret sect of Young Elites seeks out others like them before the Inquisition Axis can. But when the Daggers find Adelina, they discover someone with powers like they’ve never seen. 

Adelina wants to believe Enzo is on her side, and that Teren is the true enemy. But the lives of these three will collide in unexpected ways, as each fights a very different and personal battle. But of one thing they are all certain: Adelina has abilities that shouldn’t belong in this world. A vengeful blackness in her heart. And a desire to destroy all who dare to cross her.

Unconventional, original and awesome. 
Marie Lu, I present to you lots of chocolate chip cookies and Cadbury dairy milk chocolates. 
Now, manufacture the next one, as soon as possible. Please.
My ensnared brain will not stop the parrot talk unless you do so. 

I will not go into the details of the plot. I will simply present to you reasons why I loved reading this book and I think after that my work's done.
I always look for novels that excite me on levels that could dominate a particular dimension, like that of tragedy and make it good (painful, just so we're clear.) or it could quite possibly be a diplomat and give me everything in small packages. I don't really care how they do it. I desire only for that excitement.
Now sometimes, it just so happens, that one out of ten books make me wonder, and think a lot about getting down to the intricacies of the structure and depth of the novel as a whole. I start wondering about my relationship with the protagonist, if any, I start looking closely at the point of view of the protagonist and other characters, I start to become extra vigilant, slower and more perceptive to a point where I start making up associations which usually are wrong because I'm intellectually deficient. 

But that's okay.

The point is that The Young Elites did that to me.
I'm not sure how I feel about the protagonist, Adelina but this much is true, she proves to be one of the most unforgettable, original, complex and realistic protagonist in a long time. I want to wipe one particular event in the course of the book out of my mind and quite possibly out of the book too. Heroes become villains. Villains become heroes. Nothing is black and white and while I don't usually like multiple POVs, I absolutely ate it up in this one. Complexities. Complexities. Complexities. 
I'm kind of dying right now.

Marie Lu, remember. Cookies and chocolates are at stake here, okay?

06 October 2014

Black Ice by Becca Fitzpatrick

Black Ice by Becca Fitzpatrick  
Publisher:  Simon and Schuster      
Publication date: October 7th 2014
My rating: 3.5 stars

Sometimes danger is hard to see... until it’s too late. 
Britt Pfeiffer has trained to backpack the Teton Range, but she isn't prepared when her ex-boyfriend, who still haunts her every thought, wants to join her. Before Britt can explore her feelings for Calvin, an unexpected blizzard forces her to seek shelter in a remote cabin, accepting the hospitality of its two very handsome occupants—but these men are fugitives, and they take her hostage. 
In exchange for her life, Britt agrees to guide the men off the mountain. As they set off, Britt knows she must stay alive long enough for Calvin to find her. The task is made even more complicated when Britt finds chilling evidence of a series of murders that have taken place there... and in uncovering this, she may become the killer’s next target. 
But nothing is as it seems in the mountains, and everyone is keeping secrets, including Mason, one of her kidnappers. His kindness is confusing Britt. Is he an enemy? Or an ally? 
BLACK ICE is New York Times bestselling author Becca Fitzpatrick’s riveting romantic thriller set against the treacherous backdrop of the mountains of Wyoming. Falling in love should never be this dangerous…

Well, color me surprised! I did not see that coming! I did see the twist coming from a mile away but I didn't think I'd enjoy this book so much. Good job, Becca Fitzpatrick! 

Britt and her friend, errr, I forgot her name decided to backpack the Teton Range during their spring brake. What the didn't count on is the storm which leaves them half frozen and stranded. They find a cabin with two guys already there. They're criminals but Britt and her annoying, bratty friend don't know about this until it's too late. They end up kidnapped and Britt is forced to take them off the mountain while they leave the annoying, bratty friend to die in the cabin. Hah! I don't even feel bad about the possibility of this girl starving and freezing to death because she was such a little princess.  She was 'poking the bear' and I was waiting for the moment one of the criminals would snap. While they were with these criminals, the brother of the annoying bratty friend who's also Britt's ex, was trying to find them. He happens to be an expert at backpacking and other outdoorsy stuff. 

Britt's nothing like Fitzpatick's previous main character, Nora. Britt is resourceful, smart and brave. Sure, she has some problems with confidence because she grew up surrounded by men her whole life and they did most of the heavy lifting. But she's not afraid to help her friends even if it meant putting her life in danger. 

 I wasn't the biggest fan of the annoying, bratty friend and her brother. Britt's ex was a horrible boyfriend. Sure, his father only cared about the annoying, bratty princess and punished his son but that didn't give him the excuse to treat Britt badly. 

Romance was a bit cheesy but all in all, it wasn't so bad. The love interest was the dark , silent type with a lot of secrets and such an improvement from Patch. 

After the first couple of rocky chapters I couldn't put the book down. It was a constant roller-coaster ride. A true thriller. There aren't a lot of YA thrillers and most prefer romance, paranormal or dystopian stories. 

I'm glad I decided to give this book a try. I was pleasantly surprised, mostly about the main character and her growth throughout the novel. Hope Becca continues to write thrillers because this one checked all the boxes, at least in my case. 

20 September 2014

Blue Lily, Lily Blue by Maggie Stiefvater

Blue Lily, Lily Blue by Maggie Stiefvater  
Publisher:  Scholastic Press      
Publication date: October 21st 2014
My rating: 5 stars

The third installment in the mesmerizing series from the irrepressible, #1 NEW YORK TIMES bestselling author Maggie Stiefvater.
There is danger in dreaming. But there is even more danger in waking up.
Blue Sargent has found things. For the first time in her life, she has friends she can trust, a group to which she can belong. The Raven Boys have taken her in as one of their own. Their problems have become hers, and her problems have become theirs.
The trick with found things though, is how easily they can be lost.
Friends can betray.Mothers can disappear.Visions can mislead.Certainties can unravel.

She did it again. I never thought anything compare to The Dream Thieves or Sinner which are her best work yet, in my opinion. But she did it. 

The story picks up where it left off. Boys are starting school again and Blue's mother is still missing. They're still trying to find Glendower, the long lost king. Gray Man's employed is in Henrietta looking for a payback. Now, I don't want to reveal anything else about the plot cause even the blurb is rather vague. 

What I want to talk about are the characters. It seems Adam is the main one this time. Others all had their chapters but I feel as if he was in all of them a lot more. He's my favorite Raven Boy, like I mentioned a hundred times already. He's still hardworking as ever. Honorable, honest and proud. He's also spending more time with Ronan, if you know what I mean. *wink, wink* 

Then there's Ronan. *sigh* This guy! I mean, he's like a feral cat you want to bring home but are scared it's going to ruin your sofa. You never know what to expect from him. He's unpredictable, wild, but at the same time extremely loyal to his family and friends. There is still so much we don't know about him. 

Gansey is still a mystery to me. At times I think he has no personality and he's just there in every chapter. I know he's suppose to be the King of the gang but I don't see it. :/ Everybody likes him-boys in school, new people he meets and even Adam let go of his jealousy. He's helpful in a way a human can help a paranormal creature-basically not. I guess I'm the only one who doesn't care about his character. 

Blue's trying to find her missing mother and is dealing with her feelings towards Gansey at the same time. She was focused and determined throughout the whole book. She might even discover some hidden power deep inside her. 

If you're expecting kisses in this book, like me,  you'll just going to have to wait for the 4th installment. Even though the book was focused towards the character development, romance was pushed even further out back. There were some progress and Pynch shippers will be happy to hear it. I can't wait for the next book because I feel that's when Pynch is going to happen. 

The pacing was perfect and every chapter ended on a cliffhanger which made me scream. The book was unputdownable. And the writing is poetic. At times I had to go back and re-read parts because I thought there was something between the lines. How Maggie does this every time, I don't know. She'll always be on my auto-buy list. 

Cover is beautiful. I love the colors but I'm not sure who's on it. Blue? It could be her.